A very personal blog

Motivational BS

I attended a seminar our company set about building resilience in these trying times. I believe it’s the second time they organized something like this, so almost the same topic, just with a new speaker. Someone old and big in the BPO industry, employee #000001 in Convergy’s I heard. Someone who has written a motivational book, of course haha. Such hype. Much wow. She was even introduced twice! First by Jack Canfield, creator of Chicken Soup for the Soul (wow!), through a video recording, and next by our very own country director.  Who the heck gets introduced twice in a speaking engagement right? Gotta be someone so good. So our director said a lot of great things about her, being an institution in the call center industry and all, how his dad is such a fan they even had coffee one time, yadda yadda yadda. Anyways, within the first ten minutes of the session my expectations rose from 0-100%. I was so excited to listen to her.

Only to be disappointed.

So she made us do an excercise to illustrate the power of the mind. She said to put our hands in a prayer position, making sure to align the lines at our wrist as a guide. Then she asked us which of our middle fingers appear shorter. And to the hand containing the shorter middle finger, she told us to talk to it, yep, and say “Grow longer” 8 times. Oh boy. She’s not joking. She asked everybody to turn on their cameras and we all have to fkn talk to the hand live at the same time. Of course I didn’t oblige with the video. After chanting we were asked to put our hands back to prayer position, possibly so we could ask God why we’re being taken as idiots, and observe how the finger has actually grown. Wow.

Needless to say, some were conned into believing their middle finger actually grew longer. Magic! The power of the mind! And it doesn’t end there. It’s silly, I know. I was waiting for her to take it back and say of course I’m joking you dummies. But man, there’s a 2nd part to the act. Now to the middle finger that has grown foolishly in your eyes, you have to say “Back to normal” 8 times. And it will be back when you put your hands in prayer. Right. Prayer is the key.

It know it’s a ridiculous exercise, some of use were laughing. I was waiting for her to take it back, you know, in case some people actually take her seriously. But you know what she said to the naysayers? TRY AGAIN. Keep talking to it. Wtf. She ain’t joking. Apparently you can now grow your finger just by telling it to frkn grow up. Eight times for maximum effect, and in prayer position for some divine intervention. What can I say, my mom has tried that on me a hundred times in my childhood, and here I am, just grown but not grown up. Safe to say it doesn’t work.

That’s it. That really put me off. Idk if it’s a bad joke, but she never took it back, or somehow expressed that she’s joking. There’s gotta be other ways to teach placebo without messing with your anatomy.

Well it’s not all bad. I actually got my shorter middle finger to be taller for a while. I guess because I put the rest down.