Can we not push it?

Image by Bernd Hildebrandt from Pixabay 

After being on waitlist for 3 months, I've given up any chances that I might make it to Planit. After all, I sucked at the technical exam. It's just that I get easily hung up on thoughts of a greener pasture, especially this one, because it's abroad, and they'd take care of you and your dependent's visa. It's the most alluring package I've ever seen. I'd get on board with anything that would ship me out of this frkn country, for free, of course. Anyway. Just recently, I've come to accept the fact that I may not be the candidate they're looking for. And that there's really no opportunity for me with them. My experience doesn't quite cut it. My mishmash of skills isn't getting me anywhere. And the competition barely leaves me breathing. I don't even know where to put myself in this industry anymore.

But since I'm past the grieving phase lol, I'd like to share this timeline of how it went on my first try, yep cos there's a brief next one haha...

• December 20, 2018 - Submitted job application online (Software & Technical Testing Opportunities - Relocate to Australia & New Zealand)
• December 26, 2018 - Invitation to complete one-way video interview
• January 1, 2019 - Submitted one-way interview
• January 11, 2019 - Passed one-way interview. Got scheduled for a Skype video interview.
• January 16, 2019 - Skype interview
• January 21, 2019 - Passed Skype interview. Got invited to SG roadshow.
• January 25, 2019 - Exam details sent
• February 1, 2019 - Technical interview and assessment details sent
• February 11, 2019 - Exam date
• February 14, 2019 - Technical interview and assessment date
• March 8, 2019 - Results out, supposedly. No call/email yet
• March 11, 2019 - Still no news.
• March 12, 2019 - Still no news. Sent follow up.
• March 13, 2019 - Received regret email. I'm put on waitlist for the next 6 months.
• March 18, 2019 - Some people on waitlist were emailed for a Skype interview. I'm not one of them.
• April 4, 2019 - Another set of people on waitlist emailed for a job offer. Now everyone I know on waitlist has been offered a job. Still not one of them.

The application process with them is frkn strenuous. I went though a lot only to fail. But it's okay. That 4 months has been the dreamiest. The thought of a new country, new people, higher salary, new surroundings, fresh air, fresh produce. I never thought of leaving the country until this opportunity came along. It really made me want it so bad. But it's not for me. And I understand hehe.

Anyway, I'm feeling slightly annoyed though. Not with the application, but with some people. Because everyone I know on waitlist has been given a slot already, some people on the group chat have been urging me to keep on following up, never lose hope, it's definitely coming, so don't worry. As if I'm worried. As if they truly cared. As if I'm craving for reassurance. They're only saying that because they were offered already, see. Urgh what toxic optimism.

Waitlist period isn't over yet when they posted new relocation opportunities. I couldn't wait, so I tried my luck at Automation, even though I know I'm not cut out for it.

• June 4, 2019 - Applied for another relocation opportunity (Automation Testing Opportunities - Relocate to Melbourne!)
• June 5, 2019 - Received invitation to complete one-way video interview. Here we go again.
• June 7, 2019 - Submitted one-way interview
• June 13, 2019 - Failed one-way interview

I wasn't surprised, really. They're looking for automation testers and I offered myself as an RPA developer. I'm that thick. Plus I can't commence with them until 6-8 months. So there, let's end it. The longer I wait, the longer my experience gap becomes. The smaller my confidence grows. But it's fine. I'm at a good place anyway. ｡◕‿◕｡

And well, just when I gave up on this, one of my former colleagues asked me if wanted to work with them again. Agaaaain. The last time they asked, I went through the interview and vetting process alright and got a dreamy offer. My current manager countered, and I stayed. Now they're asking me again, considering my request for an onsite position. But hey, it's all a big blur. If only my previous manager would hire me directly and not have me go through consulting again!

Oh well.