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| Channeling Mary Kate McDevitt haha |
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Work related I still feel like I'm being treated with some level of hazard cos I may screw things up (again). I hate the feeling, like I can't do anything right, but the good news is that they're careful not to put too much load on me cos I might just break... the system. Errr. I'm still having a hard time coming to grips that I have so much to redeem while I'm here. Cos I'm dead sure I wasn't credited with anything good while I was working offshore (well that's a conservative hunch). I've been asking myself if I really have the potential in this practice and even though I'd like to think that yeah, I kinda do otherwise I won't be sticking in the team for long, I'm still feeling so anxious about it. Why can't I learn faster? Why do I get stuck a lot? Is it even normal to be such a failure at this? Where did my heart go? Am I really suited for the IT industry? Anuraw. HAHA
To be honest, I really feel challenged to do good but there's only so much I can do in the 9 hours I'm in the office, and as much as I want to pull out some extra hours to do more, it'll be a damn hassle having to ask people to go home ahead and just come back for me after err, 4 hours? Haha. (read: carpool). So anyway, I'm not feeling too good about how I'm performing at work so there. :( Huhu
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Life in general is okay. Three weeks down and I can say I've warmed up enough to the people around me. I thought it was gonna be hard cos I'm such an awkward penguin but thank God every one here is just plain awesome. Naks. I mean they're so easy to get along with, all I did was tag along and next thing we're enjoying steak or home cooked food and laughing together.
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Health wise... I don't even wanna go here but I need to discuss this (with myself). I've gained an ugly 2 kilos and have more to gain if I don't control my food intake in this paradise hahaha. I just freakin love to eat and I didn't want to deprive myself! What I need to do is probably take some pills HAHA or drink some slimming tea HAHA or subscribe to some fitness videos at youtube HAHA or do the Drop 10 daily HAHA or better yet just forget about it cos I'm having fun gaining weight anyway. Argh. Nope. The pants I brought here are all so ill-fitted now. They used to hang loose when they're on me for quite some hours but now they're dead tight the entire day. The button down blouse I brought is now literally all buttoned down for good cos life is harder trying to keep them on. HAHA haaay.
Sorry for adding random pictures in between. They're from the short walks with my lunchmates after lunch. :)
I thank God that the down times I'm feeling at work are mostly short-lived largely because everywhere I look there's something to take inspiration from, to pause looking at, and to get some energy and motivation to do better and work harder. The scenery is perfect, the food is awesome, the people are nice. There's that, and God is so good for allowing me to take this opportunity. Luv yahh <3
Have a happy week ahead! <3
