this sucks major balls

due to some network congestion, the company decided to block off a ton of websites that would eat up bandwidth while they haven't acquired new server switches yet (i don't really understand what i'm talking about)... facebook included, rendering me useless in having myself updated w/ my freelance work and all that. anyway, it only meant i have to channel my boredom some place else, like my blog and twitter, and stick to communicating w/ clients via email.

so what's up?

in my previous post i shared with you my success in whipping up a microwaved mug cake and my excitement over trying out other cake mixes. i figured i didn't have to make everything from scratch since when it comes to eating, i'm more interested in the food than the process (unlike success, where it's the journey that matters. ano raaaw haha) so there's no shame in using boxed mixes! it's not like i want to be a baker. haha

on the other hand, i still wish to get fired (or just released from this bond) without being too scandalous about it. everyone seems to be moving on with with their careers and i'm kindof stuck not doing anything... probably because they can't put me anywhere else i could be useful. -_-; i used to think as long as it pays well i could drive myself into working my ass of, but even the pay doesn't get me driven enough (cos it's not enough lol). or maybe i'm just not talented enough for this. puro enough haha. i wish they could let me design but i guess they wouldn't give me that liberty without proving myself worthy in other tasks which is totally unrelated to what i want to do. hay.

i feel like a shark on a tree climbing contest.

of course there's the saner option, instead of whining daily about the current state of my enthusiasm... the wisest thing to do is to find alternatives within the company that could lessen this burden.

a little earlier i talked (well, ranted a bit) to a couple of my officemates about my career drafts (aka positions i wanted to try because i'm not allowed to resign yet) and it turned out very... ano ba, liberating. like some thorn was taken off my uhm, throat? hahaha i was about to say my stemmed body but at the cost of a poor mental image i might impart, i decided to stay human na lang hehe.

ANYWAY, at the very least... i was comforted knowing that

1) i have options
2) i'm not alone
3) it doesn't suck so much here, you just have to know how to navigate around and find your place.

gaaaawd i sound like such an emotional wreck no? HAHAHA

nuff about the work i hate, and more about the work i love...

i've never been more inspired to develop my artistic skills. i wish i could self-study my way into it, but i can't seem to work on my discipline enough to even produce a single artwork in a week (well, that's the plan). i would hoard pens and papers but leave them in an abandoned stache. i never seem to find time to properly use them. most of my recent pieces (if you could call it that) are on papers towels and notebooks... but hardly any on my supposed drawing pads! >XS

i've always wanted to enroll in a multimedia arts course, and guess what... i just did! well it's only a single module (digital illustration and page design) because that's as much as i can afford for now. i plan to take other modules when i've saved enough. then probably go full force in freelancing. chos lang. classes will start this May and i'm so freakin excited!! <3 exactly the software skills i lack, Adobe Illustrator and InDesign. <3

oh Lord, thaaank you so much! <3

oh well, time to go! :D