A very personal blog



if you look closely at what i do, you’d probably think i’m being overpaid for the level of work i’m delivering. heck you’d probably think i’m bored to the core and is looking for more challenging tasks. SO EFFING WRONG. i’m not looking for a challenge, right now i just want to finish what i’m tasked to do. and you know what, i feel like i’m doing the easiest task na nga eh, and yet i’m taking a lot of time. feeling ko tuloy i’m a freaking cause of delay. though technically we’re not really delayed but the people around me are like all finished with their tasks and i’m the only one left with an unmarked to-do item. i mean, there’s not even a timeline yet, these people just have nothing else to do so they do advance work which is super cool. then they deliver it even before the official timeline has started. in effect, i’m the only one left ‘not doing her job’.

oh don’t get me wrong. i’m very impressed with my teammates. they’re all frigin’ good, they learn fast and honestly they know better than i do. i can totally admit they’re more technically competent than i am, considering that i’m a year older in the company. wish i could blame it on my learning curve, but now i’m thinking if i’m probably just a mismatch. AGAIN?!
seriously… 3 years of college, a colorful transcript, a shiny medal, 16 months (and counting) of experience… and here i am thinking MAYBE i’m not programmer material after all?

oh Lord.