akala ko non di na ko magkaka-boyfriend. pag 20 ka na tapos wala pang nanliligaw/nagpaparamdam sayo kahit isa, magtataka ka na. haharap ka sa salamin at tatanungin mo sarili mo, "pangit ba ko?!", pupunta ka sa nanay mo at huhugot ka ng confidence, tapos luluhod ka kay Lord na bigyan ka ng isang meaningful na love life. at dahil choosy ka pa, gagawa ka ng checklist. eto nga pala yung ideal guy ko, written on august 2009 in a private journal kasi secret lang namin yun ni Lord. pero nung Feb 2010, pinost ko na rin. baka kamo may interesado. HAHA
akalain mo nung august 2010, may close friend akong napilit kong umamin sakin. chos. at dahil na-shock ako, isang buong taon ko syang iniwasan. galing no. yung kaisa-isang taong confirmed na may gusto sakin, tinulak ko papalayo. ganyan tayong mga gerlies eh, ang arte. pero naman, pag nasa faculty room lang kasi yung tatay mo, at estudyante pa nya yung frinend-zone mo, aba shempre kelangan magpaka-virtuous kuno. HAHA
it took a year for the awkwardness to die down. after non, dahil feeling ko safe na, wala na, babayoo na, unti-unting bumalik ang dati naming turingan bilang magkaibigan. HAHA pero hindi talaga exactly bumalik. matagal kasi ako ma-ilang. mga years haha. pero in fairness nung akala ko wala na, meron pa pala. this time, i received my first ever "formal" confession, complete with the ever awkward cheeseburger from mcdo. from there i knew i had to give him a chance. kasi in fairness antagal na pala nyang kinikimkim yung pagibig nya sakin. chos. at unti unti na ring nahuhulog ang loob ko sa kanya. oha. hindi naman ako nagkamali. pinagdasal ko naman to at alam kong may purpose si Lord sa kaganapang iyon. di naglaon, naging kami. my first (confirmed) admirer, first suitor and my first boyfriend. epic 20! and the rest is His story. <3
one certain monthsary (actually hindi ako sure kung kelan haha), he gave me a piece of paper with a checklist of all the things i wrote on my Ideal Guy post. i had the chance to go through the list once more, and only then did i realize that he's all i ever asked for. and along with that realization is a revelation that God has actually provided everything I need even BEFORE i asked for it. diba sabi nga sa Mat 7:7... Ask and it shall be given unto you..
indeed. nakakatawa lang na nasa harap mo na pala yung taong para sayo, kung san san pa ko sumisilip... sa kabilang classroom, sa library, sa basketball court, sa NRMF, sa UPLB... dito ko narealize yung essence ng isang part ng Mat 7:7... seek and you shall find. not because you are seeking for something means you will find the actual thing... minsan iba yung makikita mo. sa lahat ng lugar na nag-"seek" ako, isa lang ang na-find ko... they're not for me. HEHE
kaya naman for everything you've done for me, thank you jeckie!
for waking me up every 5am so we could devo together, thank you!
for encouraging me to keep a more personal relationship with the Lord, thank you!
for inspiring me to worry less, and quit being judgmental, thank you!
for saying i'm beautiful, thank you!
for coming over at 5am to bring me my favorite breakfast... thank you!
and most specially...
for keeping our relationship virtuous and God-centered, thank you is not enough. :)
i love you! yeyy! >XD