oh now that clears it. today's message (from my daily devo hihi) is just super duper cool, it answered one of the biggest questions i asked myself, "why am i here?" when i should be out there... learning art and doing art for a living... instead of programming. and of course, i've always answered myself like this.... "you know arianne, the truth is, no matter how much you'd love to shift careers, you are not courageous enough to take the leap. that, and it's never too promising out there. believe me, you'll barely make it. mwahahahaha" err, yeah. so it kindof roots to my lack of self confidence (and also funds).
but just now, i realized that you don't always have to focus on developing your strengths. because no matter how strong and big it gets, it's not gonna remove your weaknesses, someone (or something like a situation, or a prick) will always find out about that blind spot and use it against you.
here's my most important learning of the day, God is not limited to working with our strengths alone. see 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 -- But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
grarrrr i just about cried you know. >:'((( that verse really hit me. so whenever we feel we're at our weakest, do not fret cos that's when we have to trust God to work through us. and He surely will! didn't He just say, "my power is made perfect in weakness"?? >8D
orayt (i'm getting sleepy na haha), in my life here's how it applies. i've always (mentally) complained that i'm not cut out for this job (programming) because i'm not smart enough, not fast enough in absorbing instructions and stuff, not logical enough to create optimized programs, and that this job has barely anything to do with art... which i consider my strength, so that makes me sad haha. in fact, during the 'Dark Ages' (referring to the first few months of work) i felt like i was on the wrong track, doing something i don't like and failing horribly at it.
but going back to the message and that mega powerful verse, i realized that HEY! God put me here to work on my weakness and turn it into a strength! isn't that awesome? >8D it really is! so yeah, my confusion just cleared out! i'm not lost anymore!
so yeah, if you feel like you're stuck doing something you don't usually like, something you think you're bad at, think of it as a 'weakness transformation training'. it has an aweful start, the first stages will kill your resolve. you will have doubts. you will think it's a waste of time. and it will make you want to run back to your comfort zone where your strengths lie. but in your struggles you will realize that your only weapons are your weaknesses, and in your desperation you have nothing left to do but to use them. but after that awkward fight, you'll find yourself a master of your weaknesses! and voila! you've just conquered the world!
haha good night! >XD