haha yesterday's meeting with the yearbook committee was crazy (as usual)! i can't wait to layout. i'd rather be stressed about the yearbook than about work. this is the stress i enjoy. the right hemisphere of my brain likes this kind of pressure. so what we did was set deadlines, delegates tasks, eat chicken and spaghetti, learned photoshop and the best part... browsed the pictures together... via projector. it was fun (you know what i mean!) seeing everyone's photos and talking about shiz and this and that. crazy day!
after the meeting jeckie came and we watched two movies together seeing that the projector and stuff is ready... we watched coach carter and 3 idiots! back to back awesome movies! i learned so much from those two movies that i'll probably tend to forget anyway, so i'll mention them here.
from those movies i learned that (cos they somehow touch the same theme...)
- educational institutions are designed to fail us in real life (and this goes to the rest of society).
that is why it's important to constantly challenge the system and in the process impose inconvenient changes, all for the mission of honing individuals whose life doesn't end at senior year.
when coach talked about this, i remembered how easy it was for a lot of professors at school to adjust their standards so that majority of the class will pass the subject. i think this in unfair no matter how much it worked for me in the past. in the end i didn't get pride in getting a streak of high grades cos i know somehow i didn't deserve it, that our grades were adjusted. it's hard to take pride in something you can't prove in real life. we may have passed the subject, but we could just be on our way to real failure.
what use is an institution who tolerates mediocrity, who doesn't care what happens to their students after graduation, who claims to want us to excel but doesn't believe we can? who serves degrees but not education to its students? if the learning is truly up to us, then we can learn any way we want.
joke. hahahahaha
this is the point were i partly lose track of what i'm saying. haha basta yon. >:)
another thing though...
i kept thinking about life as a multimedia artist, and i can't help feeling regretful that i'm nowhere near being one. that i'm confined to just my ballpens, scratch papers and a wacom intuos 4 (IN MY DREAMS LOL). i thought that it doesn't matter what you study, if you study hard, you're gonna understand it eventually and appreciate it. then i realized there has to be a limit to the things we pursue, sure we can learn everything but lest we learn something we love, only our brains get fed while our heart withers. emo thoughs brought to you by yet another huhu-i'm-not-cut-out-for-this-job drama.
sure you can do art on the sides (walk. joke haha) but thinking about doing it for a living excites me. this is probably why i get easily envious of my friends who have higher paying jobs. it's like whenever i learn of a better job opportunity, i shift my mind to it and think of ways to resign and apply there. only the salary matters. i can easily trade off this spot for a better offer... simply because this is not where i envision myself to be. i keep telling myself that it takes time, i'll get used to it. but it's just a state of MIND. i also need to get my heart in shape. i thought maybe if i was doing a job i truly loved... something that involves art (the art i love)... i'll be at peace. it wouldn't matter if i'm not the best (cos duh i know i'm not), as long as it's something i love doing, i'll be happy. i'll stay.
yeah right! yeah right! wanna bet? i'll be a programmer for life. that's how much i suck. >:|
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