lugmok!

here we go again. like usual, i'm a total odd ball at meetings, i couldn't keep up with the terms and the entire thing just blew my head off! i understood a bit (like 1/10 of the entire agenda) about the whole project but i can't imagine how to execute that. codes yknow. java know. i die nao. when i came back to my desk i was so lugmok, actually thinking of resigning and calling pointwest if we can still discuss about their job offer after i declined a month ago. i mean, i was thinking maybe they also have a +2k basic pay increase for high flyers (urgh. yeah roight), that would really mean a lot. it's like, 2 days of actual work at smart and here i am thinking i'm better off locked for 3 years at pointwest. hahaha >XS i totally missed the importance of what pointwest said where it doesn't matter if you don't know anything because they will provide you with complete training. training, yeah. that's what i'm kindof looking for. i miss the classroom. hayy.

anyway. a bit of pep talk with my colleagues jeanne and janine, and i kindof felt a little better. though you know, who knows.