what the fork, mehn.

apparently, i think the gravity of the things i'm supposed to be responsible for for this year has sunk in too deep for my nervous system to handle. everyday it stresses me out. like, i dunno. i'm trying to identify with my stressed self. sometimes i think it's an overstatement to call myself stressed, after all, i still eat (though honestly, the daily jitters are affecting my appetite. which is good >;D), i can still joke and laugh heartily [1], and i still sleep for at least 6 hours a day.

it's guilt tripping having to go home and do nothing but watch anime and play games AND BLOG. at the back of my mind i think i have no right to be spending my time leisurely because of all these. then again. who cares? as long as i deliver. which leads me to my biggest dilemmas:

will i be able to deliver well?
will my grades drop?
will my leadership suck?
will i get bald patches on my head for being too negative?

i tend to lose inspiration easily. damn easily. i'm not confident in the things i do. will this mass of duties drag my performance to mediocrity? i've been worrying myself too much ever since ICON got into my 'area of responsibility'. my only source of strength and inspiration for this is my co-officers.

i think i'm not getting any sleep tonight.

i have no right to sleep tonight.
fork the (grading) system.

[1] - laughter is medicine! if i counter this stress by being happy, it lowers the risk of getting bald patches on my head (not that it ever happened to me yet). seriously!!! i don't like being stressed cos aside from losing hair, it promotes the production of toxins in my body. ugh.