so i was doing my rounds at the lab and i came into a bit (kindof but not really haha) of realization…. that the most important thing i learned from resigning from the library is to NEVER BRING YOUR PROBLEMS TO PEOPLE YOU KNOW COULD NOT HELP.
if you have a problem and you want it solved, talk to the people who could help you. specially to the person involved, or just the nearest person you could afford to get involved. sometimes people say they only want someone to listen to them, but come on. that’s IMPOSSIBLE. i mean, yeah people will listen but at the back of their heads they’ll have their own say about it, so at least get ready for some unsolicited input, which can’t be helped. and you gotta be thankful for this, cos at least you know your friend’s doin some brainwork analyzing your crap.
those who listen will either
a) agree to you, to how grave your situation is, how you’re such a victim in all of it, how you don’t deserve that kinda crap, blah blah blah that’s the easiest way to deal with ranting/sharing friends. AGREE TO EVERYTHING THEY SAY. or better yet, add up to it, if only to make your friend feel better! share your own experiences about it! they need to let it out after all, and it’s a flattering thing to be the “chosen” one, yafeel trustworthy with that ayt? that’s one, make your friend feel he made the right choice of coming to you for a breather.
but yknow, if you agree to much nothing will get solved. for example (and from personal experience too! bwaha), you hate a person and you share it to your friends and you find other people who hate the same person… what happens is that you form an anti-*insert name here* fan base and you bash the person every time you meet. eventually you feel good hating the person. do not share your problems for personal gratification.
b) agree then advise. just take note once you’ve given advice, give your entire thinking into it and show how you came to that advice, pull out an entire manuscript of your perfectly impartial psychoanalysis to back yourself up, cos once you lay it down, YOU’RE INVOLVED.
most of the time people prefer the a) way. nobody wants uncalled-for comments, if you see the person is still hot off the grill, a) is the best way. you don’t wanna mess with the temper, specially if you gonna advice something that will make your friend seem at fault too. yknow. problematic people are the protagonists. YOU HAVE TO HELP THEM. they have to emerge the winner.
i know how frustrating it is not to be able to let out your problems. BUT if you think it’s just gonna get messier, then by all means, keep the rant to yourself, to your blog, to your art, to your music… unless you want it fixed.
//end rant (uhh yes that’s my rant)
ay ewan. nakaka-frustrate lang! parang kanina i was crying at school kasi badtrip na badtrip ako tapos i saw a friend sa labas tas gusto ko lang tumabi at umiyak kaso sabi ko, may klase pa ko, chaka ano naman sasabihin ko? wala naman akong masasabing maganda. chaka me solusyon naman na. so ayon nag-CR na lang ako at nagpatuyo ng mata. kainisssssss. >:
PS: siguro God is watching over me. on the last two times i tried to smoke, burilyaso lagi. nung una, muntik mahuli ni bossing. tapos awhile ago, nakasabay ko maglakad si Diane! Diane! holy Diane! i mean, that’s someone from our bible study group. >: argh. the cigs were ardy in my pocket yknow.