hello love!

of the 5 times i fell almost (but not quite cos i just fucking can't admit it to myself) in love, nothing ever happened. it's just me and my blog talking, me and my dormates giggling, and ultimately just ME. the reason why i can't label it as love is that... I FEEL THE SAME WITH EACH OF THEM, doesn't that make it less special? and love is supposed to be a unique feeling. something you don't feel with every other person whom you allegedly fall in love with. or am i just missing something that's supposed to be unique with each of them?

the way i feel with my majorcrush right now is exactly how i felt with ryan agoncillo 8 freakin years ago. it's also the same feeling i got with my 5 foot majorcrush 2 years ago. and nothing's different with my first ever college crush either, who faired top 2% in Math and Science during the UCPAT. so what gives? nothing.

sometimes i think love is an overstatement, or at least the way i perceive it to be. that's why i frakkin can't get out of my comfort zone and take risks. it's like, i won't enter into a non-serious relationship so i guess i'll just have to wait till i'm out of college so that the chances of meeting a young immature guy gets narrowed down. i admit it's a totally narrow view point but, yes, i am conservative. and also, i think the people around me are too young? or maybe i'm just too old. either way, they're still too young.

my psychology prof once said that college is a good marriage market. she may have said that because she's in UPLB, where, in terms of braincells, you won't have problems producing a smart child so the only thing you have to look for are other qualities like looks, # of cars, personality, lol.

but with me, intellect goes first on the list. and i can only look back at LB for probable prospects. sorry for being painstakingly prejudiced. but it's totally impressive if the guy is an intellectual who is good at math and has wide viewpoints on philosophy. just someone smarter than i am. i'm not that smart if you get to know me, really.