i want to be saved but i can't help hating

i'm trying, note:trying, to speed up my sister's laptop (previously OURS, but is now hers...) by terminating unwanted background processes. i have no professional idea about speeding up systems so i'm running with cnet newletter's guidance. oh, i hope this works.

i know there's a virus here! i can sense it! and i think it came from the antivirus itself! it freaking won't uninstall. wtf. well, hmmm... i'll tell what happens later.

for now. let me update you with my err, 'plans'

- i want to get a haircut, but i might not, after all, i have no money. hehe
- i also want to finish reading Almost Heaven, i stopped midway because i wasn't impressed by the happenings but i will finish it no matter what, just so...
- i could reread this dusty old book i found lying on my shelf this day, it's entitled 'From Witchcraft to Christ' by Doreen Irvine. you see, i can't read two books at a time...
- i want to scare myself with the End of Days, if it's the only thing that would make my faith go stronger and SAVE me. i needa personal adviser on this but i figured i could do it myself, i just need someone to talk to about it and i think i've already found her. :)

i want to fully dissociate myself with everything sinful. it's hard, but i want to prepare myself for the impending doom that awaits the end of the 7th and last age we are living upon.

i want to be saved.
i don't want to experience the great tribulation. i don't want to part of the Class B saved people who will be left on the reign of the 666.

those possibilities alone scare me a lot. -_____-;;