allow me

this has just been one of the most unproductive mondays of my life. well, i planned on studying but i'm not even a quarter halfway. and on the other note, i'm still struggling to draw two nerds on a boxing arena for a teaser assignment. anyway, i'm not sure why i felt depressed (again) awhile ago while watching tv. somethingS have been bothering me lately and they just throw themselves randomly in my thoughts, fckng cruel.

the more i dwell on it, the more i believe my life has no direction after all. i don't seem to be the kind of person who'll do her best to fix a mess she made and make it work the next time. i think i'm someone who'll do greater effort in minimizing the effects of my idiocy then LEAVE it to venture into something that promises lesser mistakes on my part.

it doesn't sound like giving up, to me. it's more like finding the best canvass in which i fit in perfectly. after all, we don't always improve come a second chance.

that's my ideal.
but it's not what's real.
at least, not yet.