breathe out now

mehn. the nervous feeling that's been plaguing me for more than a week now has finally left my soul to peace. i'm talking about our third long exam in chem16. well, it was really a plague that almost consumed me whole. it was freakin' hard. i was wondering how could the medicine i took 30 minutes before help me make my brain function better. do you know the tablet called glutaphos? (a tempting and potentialy addicting 5 peso/tablet) try researching about it and you'll get several feeds about it being an effective brain booster or something like it. our pastor recommended it to me last saturday and i thought, "sheesh. if this is the only thing that would make me pass the friggin subject, then so be it."

actually. no matter what the result will be, pass or fail, the more important thing to dwell upon today would be the fact that it's over! i've been generously taking more dosages of caffeine lately just to counter attack the evident symptoms of narcolepsy kicking through my veins whenever i flip a single page of an abnormaly heavy chemistry book and where else could i find a cheaper alternative? i couldn't measure the amount of relief that coursed through me the moment i handed down my blue book to the teacher. it was damn refreshing to know it's done.

ah. i've realized something as well. it might not be something new but it just dawned on me awhile ago while i was walking with a friend. a real friend is someone whom you can walk with in silence without feeling awkward. i just made that up! and i get that most of the time. a real friend is someone you feel comfortable with even in silence! you know, sometimes it happens that when i walk with someone whom i consider a friend, the moment the conversation drops off (especially if i'm with a guy), i feel weird about the sudden silence. it's awkward. mentally i'm hoping that he'd speak up and just talk and i'll do my best to reply with the best things that would hopefully lengthen the conversation (coz seriously i'm not a good conversationalist) just so the tension will subside. well, it will change in time, i know. it's just a matter of trying to feel good around your new friends that is.

for the meantime, i'm extra excited about this weekend. so much so that i'll skip psy1 this friday just to go home early!