moment of truth

i didn't make it to UP. i went there awhile ago with my dad along with lienne and bea.
ok, first of all i felt blank and neutral. definitely i felt sad, but it lasted only for about a minute then i regained my composure and went on living.

i'm warning you. i do not need your pity. i am not depressed. it actually irritates me that someone is trying to console me when i don't feel bad at all. i don't need encouraging words because i already filled myself with those beforehand. that's all. but i appreaciate your concern, it's just that i'd rather hear it from someone who, like me, didn't make it.

i'm quite happy, UST isn't a bad choice (in fact i don't have a choice). it's only now that i learned to appreciate it.

this is my ultimate dream:

i shall grow into a very successful person in the future where people will look up to my skills and appreciate me. i wish to be interviewed in a well-known newspaper or magazine. there i'll show them that behind my success are three rejection letters (or more). i am not smart enough for Ateneo, too laid-back for La Salle and too careless for UP but all these brought me here. it is in my failures that i defined my success.

yeah that's my goal!
it's fun to be optimistic.

good luck

today is the GALS competition, at first i wanted to go but on second thought it'd be very tiring so i just preferred to stay here and wait for good news.

i feel so guilty right now, we didn't go to church because of my parents' client affair, why do they have to set it on a sunday? whatever.

stardard chartered credit cards (visa and mastercard) has a very very cool promo running from feb 15 - march 31, 06. NEO laptop 1 year installment for 5,833.25 / month, . pentium centrino, 40gb hard drive, lightweight (1.8 kg) blah blah...
0% interest for those who could pay monthly billings on the right due date. free ipod nano and logitech webcam. free delivery for locations inside the greater metro manila boundary. isn't that great? all in all you have to pay 69,999.00, but for a laptop, ipod nano and webcam i think that's quite reasonable.

mehn, i'm still trying to convince my parents onto it. it's not bad at all!! who cares if it's neo and is not acer, hp or compaq? i would love to have my own laptop. but dad says he's gonna buy a 25,000 laptop, free shipping.

come on! 25k for a laptop is very suspicious it sounds like a smuggled one. you're not even given an assessment of the features. grrr, i wish i had my own credit card.

please please... grad gift?
LoL. as if i've ever been in the top 20 these 4 yrs. =(

i have more to share

are you watching my name is kim sam soon?
hehe, you should. i'm obsessed on it right now, it's my only stress relief!! the food, the guys and sam soon's character as well.

it is rare for me to like a leading lady that much you know. first i must consider the attitude, i hate sassy leading ladies who like to take control over the guy too much, it's irritating! and what's irritating me more is the high pitched filipino dubber and the OVERLY konyo translations they make like there's no more filipino words left in the dictionary. eherm. sometimes i just want to punch the tv and kill the series (how ever that's possible). no wonder why filipino dubbers (or dubbers in general) do not get popular.

back to sam soon. well, pretty much i'm so hooked to the show. i love the food too much i wish we had a pattisieur in the family. i just love desserts. why don't you? life is a box of chocolates anyway.

i like sam soon! the lead guy cyrus is good-looking too (in most angles, but he's cutest when he smiles, heh! dimples!) but i just can't help but feel hurt whenever he says bad things to sam soon. he's so rude, not my ideal man.

graduation is near. but before that we still have to go through the 4th quarterly tests. i'm actually excited to get over the tests because right after that we'll be staying in westin hotel for three days to escort my mom in the her awards night. well whatever, i just want to feel the aircon, the pool, the sauna, the beach and most especially...... THE CABLED TV!!!!!

i'm currently reading: the pilgrimage - paulo coehlo.

there is someone walking behind you

this morning i went to school to help finish the GALS banner. thank God we're done, yay! i got my school shirt which is size M but it turns out that it magically shrank 2 sizes smaller. dem, i should have chosen XL if i knew that school shirts are supposed to be that small. grrr.

after that karla, kim, nez, larz and i went to SMF to watch final destination 3. it was a very gruesome movie (as always) that will surely leave you paranoid, looking for signs that would mean your death. and the song, 'there is someone walking behind you, turn around... there is someone watching your footsteps...' is very freeeaaakkkyyy....

something funny (or at least) happened after that. we went to toy kingdom to meet nez's mom and there we saw this toy board where i wrote the first line of the song, then my friends started to add something else. when i turned around, guess what i saw?

there was a miniture roller coaster (eh mukhang roller coaster eh, paranoid na cguro ako) display there. hehe, freaky.

and theeeeeennnn, we're all fussing about the flight 180 plane crash (FD 1) while bearing the usual regalado traffic, we started seeing plate numbers.... parang, "ayun oh 190, minus 10.." "ayun pa 183, minus 3.." then i spoke, "pag ako talaga nakakita ng 180 ah... naku."

guess what? duh.
i can still remember the plate number, ZAA 180.

maybe it's your car, we'll find out.

whoopdeedoo

there's something weird about me today. i don't know, i feel so happy like there're a lot of positive charges coursing through my veins. it's inexplicable i can't determine the source of this but i guess this is an omen that something good will happen soon. oh i wish THIS is it. meehn.

well well, i read this really funny naruto fic. LoL, i'm afraid i can't share the details because you know, hehe, it's not for kids. haha... another thing, i'm currently reading another naruto fic which is uhm, not for kids either. okay, when i say it's not for kids, it doesn't necessarily contain sex and explicit themes, it's just that the idea might offend you that's all. you know, yaoi. brokeback mountain? gravitation? uhm, mark feehily? sounds familiar? yeah, gay mehn.

ok it hit me now. did i just mention mark feehily? my beloved westlife tenor markus michael patrick verdon feehily? the one whom i have infatuated for so long?! who sang 'oh mandy' when he could've sang 'oh arianne'? dem! he's gay!!! HURRAAAAAYY!! i don't know, i'm so insane i could easily give up my crush... for another GUY.

you shouldn't be surprised. this is the real me.
ok, lemme share to you a very special song yet no one gets sentimental over it, or has there been one already?

if you were gay
that'd be okay!
i mean 'cos hey!
i'd like you anyway!
because you see
if it were meeee
i would feel free to say
that i was gay
(but i'm not gay)

just that part. see now, there's nothing wrong with it. i'm not saying i'm gay but hey, that'd be okay. :D i almost memorized the whole lyrics you know, including the dialogue introductions of puppet-gays-in-denial rod and nicky. they just amuse me a lot!

---
awhile ago we had a mass and the anual educators' day celebration. the message didn't reach me that we'll be halfday today and that there'd be no classes. heh. like it matters a lot, i don't really care. as you can see i'm still alive.

the presentations were nice.
yesterday my mom, dad and i watched 'close to you'. hehe it's not gut bursting funny since john lloyd himself is the only comic relief (i was actually looking forward to a funny sidekick but no) but he is, in a way, funny. i can't concentrate on the humor majorly because i cried twice. meeehn! i cried twice on a filipino flick movie!!! heh. my mom cried too... ayun, uhm it's nice!

next movies to (hopefully) watch...

final destination 3 - i still have to drag some of my friends to watch with me since i have just recently realized that horror movies bring friends closer together. diba?
fun with dick and jane - don't you just love jim carrey? (ano ba spelling non?)
brokeback mountain - tara michi!

sorry dear parents

i was thinking of changing the 'welcome' to a 'sorry' but hell, why would i?

there there. how are my grades? geez, their fine as hell. they always remain as they are. i mean, the average and all. they're still the same. ever since i was in first year my averages would always play around 88 or 89. yes, always close to the line of 9 i'm dreaming of yet it remains there. it sucks you know.

i would be damn happy if ever i reached (even for once) and everage of 90 on my overall and major grades. anyway, it was a shame on my part, being on a barkada mostly compromised of top 20's. wouldn't that make me feel like an idiot? hah. no i'm not an idiot, maybe someone else is but i'm not. i'm a self-proclaimed geek, haha! and adri's the nerd and uhm.. hah! k.a.'s the dork! world domination! *insert snorty geek laugh here*

how could it get any better than that?

i love you miss O!! you saved my card from the humiliating line of 7. i really hate having a line of 7 in pinoy because it's the very first subject in the line up of grades in our card. the shame mehn! ms. alberto said my pinoi grade would've been a line of 7 but savior ms. o did a little magic to it and poof, it became 80!

LOL, like there's something triumphant about getting an 80! hell, no. that's why i love the idea of magic, you can use it on everything under the sun! thank you miss O, you're the greatest magician ever. imagine a quiz average of 58, a quarterly test of 79 and a final grade of 80? mehn that's so cool.
and i didn't even give her 2 chesnut horses for that!! :D

oh, another sorry thing. my accounting grade is decreasing at a uniform rate of 4. 88,84,80... what's next 76? no way. i wouldn't let that happen. i seriously think it's not yet the right time for us to learn accounting, it's so baffling.

haaay. life is full of surprises! it's funny how our card is called "progress report" when i'm not actually progressing.

i need a haircut. yeah, i'll do that this summer. mom says i'll be having braces soon! can you imagine me with that? heh. and i was thinking of buying reading glasses for myself. mehn. can you image that? spectacles, braces, short hair? oh no! GEEEEEKKK.

mehn, how can it get any cooler than that?

aww mehn, we're going to change seating arrangements again. :(
yey! i finished reading the catcher in the rye! yay and that same day i finished it i also finished reading narnia 1! yess! achievement! it was my first time to finish a whole book in one sitting!

the ultimate geek show

how's that huh? it's a very brilliant plan it drives me crazy. we could conquer the world with ingenious calculators and never worry about anything mathematically. *insert hillarious geek laugh here*

yeah, that's practically how i'm going to live my life in this world, which is in my point of view, a giant calculator - only you can't press buttons and get sums and products. the world right now is so low tech i wonder how big the brains of average humans are. i'm not berating you humans as i am one of you too but you see, most of you just lack the creativity to imagine ridiculously possible things. everything under the sun isn't that hot as i thought it would be. mind you, calculators are the best invetions in the world. next is the computer but sometimes they go change rankings once in awhile because both of them imrpove dramatically. and i mean dramatically! it would make you cry how wonderful those creations are. *insert hillarious geek laugh here*

awhile ago in school that brilliant plan just sort of came into our mind. well, i have a friend with me who is just as enthusiastic as i am in conquering the world with teleporting calculators. hell yeah, and we'll go around in our white chem labs and wear this ridiciulously thick framed geek glasses and read tons and tons of algebra books. they're really interesting *insert hillarious geek laugh here* i think i want to write a blog with numbers. but i thought you wouldn't be able to understand it as we do so you might as well be grateful enough that i made this blog into a quite comprehendable (did i mention i'm making my own geek-tionary?) form.

sometimes in life, out of boredom you can just create a lot of things in your mind. just like how we conceptualized our geek show and all the ratings we WOULD have. we also named our very own wannabe geeks, yeah that's cool. it would be sort of a contest thingy but hell we're not copying that phony geek show in your screens. hah! we're way better, only we don't have enough money to promote ourselves and you know, we're kinda shy. *insert hillarious geek laugh here*

no matter how bad or good we started this thing out, i hope we get all your support in this. coming up is our very own geek tv shopping network where you can get a lot of geek stuff at a low low price of only $xxx. yeah that's a surprise *insert hillarious geek laugh here*

here's a place where nerds and geeks rule
come and join us now, don't be a fool
for in this land you'll never know
that hey! this is the ultimate geek show!

*insert hillarious geek laugh here*
*insert hillarious geek laugh here*
*insert hillarious geek laugh here*

better together - jack johnson

happy valentines folks!

i have no date! yay! absolutely not expecting one. i'm content with recieving candies and greetings. =) today's valentine season doesn't seem that festive like the previous years. days ago i watched the loveapalooza on screen and when the countdown to one was done and everybody started kissing, my face turned into a semi-distorted semi-amused face, what is the moral of that, seriously? what are they trying to promote? the toothpaste? hah! what a waste. there are other ways of celebrating this season but if that's their way, i have no arguments. 10 seconds of kissing is too long. mehn, a smack ends at not even a split second yet the chastity of it is still there. prolonging a smack ignites sexual libido, i guess i know where most of the couples there went after the concert.

waah. nica's so shane-ish right now. yeah. =D
weee, jami gave me a fudgee bar! haha big deal.

----------

There is no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
And no song that I could sing, but I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia tone loving

Love is the answer
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Why are we here and where do we go
And how come it's so hard
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing
It's always better when we're together

Mmm, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments just might find a way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone when the morning light sings
Or brings new things for tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too, too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression I was somewhere in between
With only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be, we'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Yeah, it's always better when we're together
Mmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together (mmm)

I believe in memories, they look so, so pretty when I sleep
And when I wake up, you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together

take me somewhere else but here

i want to go out somewhere, i just don't know where and who to bring with me. well, i already have enough money to go mall strolling but something's stopping me. the need to save money!!!

sometimes i really hate my sister. (for the shallow reason of) she's not washing the dishes anymore and i hate it when she uses her worn-out reasons that she still has to pack her things up and study. grr, i'm stuck again with the disgusting left overs. i wish i had a witch blood in me so that i can just levitate things here and there and make the sponge and dishwashing liquid to do its work.

i'm being maarte. oo na, eh nakakatamad naman talaga maghugas ng pinggan eh, ang lamig ng tubig, and lakas ng hangin, kulang nalang makatulog na ko.

that's why i hate eating lunch at home on sundays, it means someone has to wash the dishes and the choices will always be me or my dad. that's why there's SM in front of our church, so that we can eat steamy teriyaki rice bowls in yoshinoya and never worry about washing them afterwards. then we don't have enough bugdet. blech!!

i'm enjoying the whole 'being productive' thing by not procastinating. i swear, i felt really good after finishing my homeworks to see that's it only 9pm. wahaha, achievement! then i'll just get lost in my books.

by the way, i've finished reading my 12th book of the school year: narnia 3 - the horse and his boy.
the story is really for the geeky kiddos out there, the only things i like about it are the talking beasts of narnia, the big fonts and the big spacing. The last two are a must in every book. i get sleepy at the sight of compressed words. anyway, i finished it and i'm quite happy.

here are the last three books i'm going to read:
by the river piedra i sat down and wept - paulo coehlo (currently reading)
the catcher in the rye - jd salinger
narnia 1 - the magician's nephew - cs lewis (subject to change)

daily (boring) encounters

what's driving me now?
i'm having withrawal syndromes with not taking in caffeine. i crave, then later i get a headache because i really really want to drink some fappe but then i couldn't. it's very hard to lose against yourself. why? because you don't know how to make it up to YOU. that's why the best bets are bets you deal with yourself, you vs. you. that way you will be more disciplined. try it, it works.

i've been struggling a week of no procastination, it sure's keeping my grades in a stable manner. i can see the progress, it's a shame that i only realized that method now, 4th yr-4th quarter.

new seating arrangements. it was okay, i don't really care who sits on my left or right, as long as i'm on the side with my left-armed chair. i can live with that.

i'm reading a lot of books and i love it! :D

the bored

Your Scholastic Strength Is Innovating

You are the master of new ideas, techniques, and ways of looking at things. You are talented at structuring thoughts, decision making, clarifying, and making deadlines. You should major in: Marketing Psychology Desigin Cognitive Science Economics Photography

What Should You Major In?

a talaga?

You Are Balanced - Realist - Empowered

You feel your life is controlled both externally and internally. You have a good sense of what you can control and what you should let go. Depending on the situation, you sometimes try to exert more control. Other times, you accept things for what they are and go with the flow. You are a realist when it comes to luck. You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random. You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you... But you do your best to try to make your own luck. You have a good deal of power, but you also know the pecking order. You realize that working the system does get you further. You know who to defer to and who to control. When it comes to the game of life, you play things flawlessly.

The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test

hmm... nice.

You Are 18 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

a ok.

You Should Drive a Ford Shelby Mustang Cobra

You have an extreme need for speed, even when you're not in a hurry. And while your flying by, you don't want to look like every other car on the road!

What 2007 Car Should You Drive?

ayos!

You Are a Frappuccino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

oi. ang galing nito ah, saktong sakto sa iniisip ko! :D

oh happy day!

you don't have to count the number of times i've mentioned that i love pamayanan.

i recall those times before schoolyear starts when i was spreading the news to my friends that, 'hey, i dreamt that i'll be in sandiwa!' and my silly little post of ranking my most to least favorite classrooms (most-sandiwa, least-pamayanan) basing on the convinience of the spot.

but where am i now?
God put me to shame the time i realized that my name wasn't listed in any of my toplisted classrooms. i thought i already knew what was going to happen, that i'll be in sandiwa, near the cr and the locker, because i dreamt of it. i thought i could decide my unknown future already. but no, he put me into the least of my dreamt-of future and sad as it was to admit that i am a fraud foreteller, i have to accept the fact. but then, it was all well worth it to be part of pamayanan.

our classroom is the worstly positioned classroom of all, did you know that?
we have neighbors who beg us silence just to enjoy the sound of reciepts printing on their old fashioned epson printers and...
we have to hold on tight for the next 50 meters just to reach the comfort room and spill out what's needed to be spilled.


nevertheless, i have no regrets.
i'm not complaining. :)

hm. although there happened to be a mishap during one battle scene, i know she'll be fine. and she is, actually.

yay! our commercial won! yay!
congratulations to all those who won in the english week!

good news, good news! i already finished 'the sisterhood of the travelling pants'
it's now time for 'the valkyries - paulo coehlo'!!

i have a semi-bad news though, shane is slowly exiting my brain.
but i won't give up, i'll still make a 'shane is my homegirl' shirt!!

mass tomorrow!