i wanna be myself

sometimes i'm thinking if all this time i'm not being myself. i don't think i really know who i am.
i'm still wondering... when do you become YOU?
ngek. ewan. bsta...

it feels like i'm nothing but a bandwagon-er. i just follow, i don't set anything to be followed or something. what a loser.
i do hate the conformity stuff where you becoming this odd creature who wears a hand-knitten scarf instead of a bolero jacket. that's why i love the penshoppe tagline 'resist conformity' minus the 'promote accessorizing' thing. but hell, i'm not really getting out of their borders. i'm still uhhh... nevermind.

i found out in mtv that hollaback girl was made to confront courtney love regarding her negative remarks about gwen stefani. coolness.

you see, i realized that i'm still the teen novel freak that i used to be. i find romance in books, not in real life... and currently i'm writing another crappy to-be-continued novel which is, by the way, under the lousy-plotted-novel category. haha...
it's weird, and it sounds like a fake: not your ordinary teen novel.

ever heard of the movie 'not your ordinary teen movie'? it has nothing to do with this project. i actually just realised that there's a movie like that only when i have finished the first 3 pages of my story.

i'm planning to do something different (but not original) with it.
have you heard the 'chose your own adventure' book? that's what i'm going to do.
well, the chose your own adventure thing gives you choices after each chapter. for example
a.) if you want mr. and mrs. smith to marry each other, turn to page 99
b.) if you want both of them dead, turn to page 50
c.) if you find my choices insufficient, close this book and write your own crappy ending.

although it might confuse you if you find both choices interesting and you decided to read the contents of both choices... hah! bahala ka.

like that. i think it's fun and challenging.
but i guess it will take me a long time to finish it. i have a lot of pending stories... lol.

haay. i still love yaoi anime.
i'm reading a lot of fics lately, specifically those rated T13 under humor. hehe

happy new year!