questioning my religious upbringing

i don't know if i'll still end up in heaven someday... that's my ultimate dream you know!
i've been a mega sinner.
because of that my parents called for a bible study in our prayer sanctuary that i rarely visit... because it's way on the top floor and i'm lazy.
what's wrong with me? i always pray at night! i even left my traditional way of praying... the patethic way of praying wherein i make myself sound so kawawa...
i'm not kawawa... i talk to God like i'm a neighbor... the "hey God kamusta ka na? paki bati naman po ng happy holloween sa mga lolo ko o, pati na rin sa mga angels dyan...happy halloween"
masama ba yun?
but i like praying that way!!
grrr... and my parents think i'm losing touch with God because they don't see and hear me pray... =(

comown... i'd be dead by now if i don't have God.
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oh well.
happy holloween!